Neonchameleon's adventures with ADSL or "The problem with foolproof devices"

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
Paul Ehrlich

So. I ordered broadband and bought an ADSL modem and tried to set it up. Shouldn't be too hard, so I thought. I read the manual while bringing the thing home - it looked small and simple. I should have realised that this was a bad sign.

( Comedy of errors beneath )

At that point I decided that I was already going to be later than expected arriving at midnightmelody's.

So now I have a router that appears not to find DNS servers and a computer with no operating system installed.

Um... Help?